Here are some hints if you want to write a mindless dog blog that will get lots of attention within one’s chosen clique.
- Make sure you know who the bad guys are.
- Make sure you know the good guys are.
- Maintain a Manichaean woldview.
- Continually smear the bad guys.
- Continually praise the good guys.
- Do not deviate from the party line: The AKC is either all evil or all good. Same goes with pit bulls.
- Make sure get outraged in the same way at exactly the same story as all the people in your clique.
- Oh. And make sure you cover only the stories of the day. Otherwise, you might have to do some analysis and actually think through what you’re writing.
- Because you’re on the side of good, it is morally justified to be the biggest asshole possible to people on the side of evil.
- Make sure you know how to stay as outraged as possible in your writing. Make outrage your entire voice and focus.
- The only two dog experts who matter are Raymond Coppinger and Cesar Millan. Choose one or the other. Quote them regularly.
If you follow these steps, you’ll have a blog that will make all you will-respected in the community of dog bloggers.
Well, it will definitely make you well-respected in your clique.
Until you accidentally deviate from the party line.
Then you’re the effing enemy!