How to write a mindless dog blog

Here are some hints if you want to write a mindless dog blog that will get lots of attention within one’s chosen clique.

  1. Make sure you know who the bad guys are.
  2. Make sure you know the good guys are.
  3. Maintain a Manichaean woldview.
  4. Continually smear the bad guys.
  5. Continually praise the good guys.
  6. Do not deviate from the party line:  The AKC is either all evil or all good. Same goes with pit bulls.
  7. Make sure get outraged in the same way at exactly the same story as all the people in your clique.
  8. Oh. And make sure you cover only the stories of the day. Otherwise, you might have to do some analysis and actually think through what you’re writing.
  9. Because you’re on the side of good, it is morally justified to be the biggest asshole possible to people on the side of evil.
  10. Make sure you know how to stay as outraged as possible in your writing. Make outrage your entire voice and focus.
  11. The only two dog experts who matter are Raymond Coppinger and Cesar Millan. Choose one or the other. Quote them regularly.

If you follow these steps, you’ll have a blog that will make all you will-respected in the community of dog bloggers.

Well, it will definitely make you well-respected in your clique.

Until you accidentally deviate from the party line.

Then you’re the effing enemy!


The Retriever, Dog, & Wildlife Blog

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