I was emptying the camera roll on my phone the other day (please tell me I’m not the only one who gets that “storage full” pop-up delay and is constantly having to delete photos because they take and save an excessive amount of them), and got lost in photos from last summer. I know, I know, I just posted about spring flowers last week and here I am again, unable to embrace the present. My kids have taught me how to appreciate a good snow day, they really have, and I will say that my distain for winter has lessened over the years, but I’m not going to pretend I’m not looking forward to warmer weather and longer days somethin’ fierce. Plus looking at these photos makes me happy. So I thought I’d share them here, because maybe they’ll make you happy too.
We were supposed to leave this morning for a last minute trip to northern California to visit a dear friend of mine who has been having a challenging time. I felt so lucky that we were able to make this happen during a small break in Robbie’s intense tour schedule with the band so we could all four go. But I let myself get so stressed about finding a way to get out there, and then got even more overwhelmed once we got the flights, trying to squeeze in work for Bubby and Bean in the few days last week that Robbie was home and able to care for the kids, followed by close to break down status when Emmett got another severe ear infection after Robbie left again that involved things like projectile vomiting antibiotics. And then, after taking Emmett for a follow up just to make sure he was better, the doctor informed us that his ear infection has gotten worse and he absolutely could not fly. So we had to cancel the trip (second trip canceled due to a sick child in three months) yesterday. I genuinely felt like I was going to explode with stress and sadness. So much had built up and I was already so overwhelmed, and that just pushed me over the edge.
Then, I suddenly had this moment where I remembered the hell my friend is going through battling a terminal illness, and the hell the parents of the kids in Parkland, Florida are going through after last week’s shooting – and how ridiculous it was that I was putting so much pressure on myself over stuff that doesn’t even matter. I rebooked the trip for early April. I went to bed early. And I gave myself permission to take a little time off work, to focus my family and myself. This isn’t easy for me to do mentally (I am not wired to take breaks) or logistically (we have a new mortgage and rely on both incomes, and I can’t justify taking time off work when I’m not out of town), but I need to do it.
The reason I’m sharing this here is that I know most of you probably go through these periods too, when life’s small struggles build up until you feel overpowered. And maybe you’re not in a situation like I am where you’d already planned to leave for a trip and took time off work and therefore have the luxury of taking a few days for your family or self care. But if you are, do it. And if you’re not, find a way to allow yourself a break in a different way. A therapist friend of mine recently said something to me along the lines of, “I understand you feel guilty when you’re not working or taking care of others. And if it’s too difficult for you to justify the fact that you deserve it just for you, that’s okay. But know that the only way to be your best as a parent and a partner and a business owner is to give yourself a break. You can’t take care of everyone else if you’re not well.” This may seem like common sense, but I needed the reminder.
So Bubby and Bean will be silent for a few days. And I hope that inspires you to do something for yourself as well. I’ll be back on the 28th (the 28th of February! That means March is almost here! Woohoo!), hopefully feeling a little less buried. I would also love to hear what you do to take breaks and take care of yourself – self care is something I crush sometimes and absolutely suck at other times. Right now I fee like I could definitely use a refresher course.
Thank you for listening, and for allowing these occasional personal ramblings in between the design and lifestyle posts. You guys are the best.